To Do List-for the 1st time in my life...it can wait

I have always been a list maker and ALWAYS have an ongoing to-do list. I really can never function without one. Over the last couple of weeks I have come to the conclusion that my to do list can wait. Roman is growing so fast, and even though I'm at home with him everyday and we don't go anywhere...I want to soak in every minute with Him instead of seeing what I can get done each day. My heart broke over hearing the news of baby Maddie. She was only 4 months old and while at the babysitters house, she just stopped breathing. Her mom got the call while she was at school. I CAN NOT IMAGINE. I have been praying for her constantly and can't get her off of my mind. I also have been praying for the Sullingers. Their 18 month daughter Preslee fell in a canal back in July and after fighting for a week, Jesus called her home. Ashley, the mother is such an amazing writer. Both mothers documented their everyday life on their blog and said they are so grateful for all the pictures they took and all the things they wrote about while their daughers were still alive. They said they don't know how they would be coping without having their blog. Please visit their blog and join me in lifting them up in prayer.
kandjstaats.blogspot.com
and
patrickandashley.blogspot.com
As I do know, God's Plan does not always make sense to our limited knowledge, but He has a purpose and plan for both Maddie and Preslee's life as He did with Kaiya's, and we just have to Trust in it. It's amazing to watch how many lives are being changed by Maddie and Preslee.
The song playing is "To Make You Feel My Love"-my friend Devon wrote the words to her baby Owen on her blog and I don't think there is a better song that perfectly depicts my love for Roman. There is NOTHING that I wouldn't do To Make Him Feel My Love. So with that said....

My NEW to do list is anything to make Him Feel My Love :)
which includes me constantly doing the following below and I LOVE IT!

1. Pump
2. Feed
3. Rock
4. Sing
5. Dance
6. Cuddle
7. Kiss
8. Change diaper
9. Change clothes after clothes
10. Sing to him
11. read book to him
12. Do everything in my power to get him to smile
13. Cry tears of happiness
14. Cry tears of sadness when he gets his shots
15. Bathe
16. LOVE

This Valentines Day was extra special. I had 2 Valentines this year!! Actually I had 3...I missed Kaiya alot on Valentines Day. I had always imagined their 1st Valentines together and the cute outfits I would put them both in. I missed Kaiya, but I did feel her presence!!! Roman and I took a walk alone for the 1st time and God displayed a Kaiya Sky for us. I know she's with me still. Knowing how much my love has grown for Roman when I didn't think it could, makes me feel like I haven't been able to experience that same grow with her. This makes me sad. She was my first born and she is who made me a mother (Baby A). I pray to continue to feel her closeness and I pray that God allows me and my love to grow for her even though she is not with me here on Earth. I see her when Roman smiles and laugh. I see her in my imagination and I believe it is in an accurate gift from God. I still haven't dreamed about her, but belive I will when God feels I'm ready.

Friends all across the US have helped brighten my day and make me feel close to her by sending me Kaiya Skies. This truly means the world to me...knowing that when people look at the beautiful skies and think of my daughter. She was too good and beautiful for this World and she is in the Skies that justify her beauty.

Kaiya Sky taken on Valentines Day!

Kaiya Sky sent by Taylor Wade

Kaiya Sky sent by Randi Miller

Kaiya Sky sent by Sara Lewis

Kaiya Sky sent by Kimmie Hack...her daughter said "mommy look at the pink clouds!"

Kaiya Sky sent by my sister Whitney

Kaiya Sky sent by Sarah Miloud

Kaiya Sky sent by Nicole Clark

Kaiya Sky I took when taking my first walk with Roman...I could feel her prescence!!! Me and Roman listened to Healer and Beautiful by Kari Jobe which is what I was listening to when I believe she went to Heaven. She was definitly with us on that walk!

Kaiya Sky sent by Laura Schneidder

Kaiya Sky sent from Kelly and Jenny Terrell

Kaiya Sky sent by Adrienne Griffith


I found a website that will print your blog into a book! A nice book with all the pictures and comments and everything! I recently printed mine into a book and I will do this every year and it will take the place of his baby book. This is also why I take so many pictures...Check it out!
Back of Book

438 pages!

Displays all the pictures and people's comments

Table of Contents

Dedication Page

Front of Book

My Valentine Bundle of Joy!!

My favorite...doesn't he look like the Gerber baby here?!

Look at the grin :)

My little roly poly...

He has 1 dimple on his right cheek when he makes this face!

A Fathers Love: Though he will only hold his sons hand for a short while...he'll hold his heart forever. I walked in on this sweet moment. They were watching tv together :)

Nana and Papa babysat so me and Dustin could go to our Valentines dinner

Sittin in his crib vs. laying in his crib...he's not sure what to think!

"huh mom?"

He's saying I Love You in sign language

Cutie face!

This picture was taken on the way hom from his Dr's appt when he got shots...he's pouting...the pictures after it are the happy ones right before the Dr!

His shirt reads "Mommy says I'm the Best Baby Ever". That's right! We put Baby Lotion in his hair and it spikes it all up like Daddy's! He looks so much older with it spiked up!

In this picture you can see his little birth mark on his forehead. Its in the shape of a heart! I'm going to tell him and I believe that its a Kaiya Kiss she left on him before going to Heaven :)

He Loves Blowin Bubbles!

There's that dimple again! What's wierd is that I have the same dimple and only on one side but mine is on my left cheek and his is on his right!

Daddy tickling him. He thinks Daddy is so funny!

Gettin' his nose!

This is a new face he'll do. Its his serious face! Doesn't he look handsome?

I love this boy so much!!!

Ever since the NICU we were told to never let Roman sleep on his stomach, so he isn't a huge fan of tummy time. The back of his head is a little flat so I try to put him on his stomach for some short naps while I watch him. This is the 1st nap he ever took on his belly. He has his little butt up in the air. I slept in this same position til I was pretty old!

Got cheeks?!

Roman loves his "Learn to Read" video! We watch it 1st thing in the morning and I don't know if its a coincidence or not, but when they tell him to wave he tries to and arms up, etc. Coincidence or we have a genious on our hands! :) Aydia and Elijah came over and are watching it with him. They all look related dont they? Cousins :)

Cousins forever!

Sleeping Beauty

I think he is so beautiful in this picture! His little hands :)

This is my view every night before I put him to bed. I just stare at him and still can't believe God has blessed me so richly!!! He's so perfect!!

He loves his Grammy!!

Here's a picture of Elijah at Romans age...crazy how much they look alike!

His new pouty face!

He loves sleeping with his arms up!

Sleeping...

My Uncle Bud and Aunt Trish came to meet Roman! Aunt Trish had a prayer circle going on for months for Roman. Sweet Aunt Eva (Uncle Bud's wife) passed away, so they were in town for her funeral. Uncle Bud said "I sure do know an Aunt who would have liked to meet him"...and I replied "well that same Aunt is holding his sister in Heaven" :)

My best friend Sara got to meet Roman! She's been trying to make it over for a while!

Owen came over and we went on a walk together! I even got emotion when we were walking! I looked at Devon and said "I can't believe we're walking our boys!!"

Ready to walk!

You can't see this picture well, but its me, Mom, Elijah, Aydia, Roman and my sister Whitney taking the picture. We went on a walk too! Just 7 more weeks til I introduce Roman to the world!!